Eating Fish

Denying stuff is totally hip. I mean, there are people denying evolution - saying some form of intelligence (preferably God) created the Earth. There are global warming-denialists (yes, I think Al Gore is an ass too, but that doesn’t mean there is no global warming). There are 911-deniers, which don’t deny it happened, but claim it was an inside job. But one I hadn’t expected, I read about today on the Evolved and Rational blog: HIV/AIDS deniers. Denialism is totally hip, and I want to be one.

I do have a few problems though. I know AIDS is real, so I can’t deny that. I feel the US government has not addressed all questions surrounding 9/11, but that doesn’t mean it was an inside job. So I can’t deny that either. I firmly believe in the theory of evolution, so I definitely can’t deny that. Considering the fact that I’ve not pushed my kids through the snow on a sled, even though I used to play in the snow most winters in my youth, and that I’m typing this in april in the Netherlands in a t-shirt makes it hard to deny global warming either. No, I need something cool to denial. Something that enables me to go crazy on theories and false assumptions with no scientific foundation whatsoever. I know; I’m going to be the first internet-denialist!

You see, I deny the existence of the internet. There is no such thing. All the information rests in special chips on the motherboard and operating systems are rigged to fetch this information. Some of it is created dynamically, based on user interaction. The people I meet online are artificially created by the internet chips. In online games - which aren’t really online because there is no internet - the people I meet are NPC’s just like all the ‘normal’ NPC’s. I also did not meet my wife and my girlfriend on the net, it’s all a conspiracy created by the state(s) to slowly turn the world into a police state without us knowing about it. I’ve suspected this for a long time, but a friend of mine works for a computer company and he confirmed my beliefs……

No, I’m not good at this. I can’t believe this crap any more then I can believe most of the other ‘denialism’ crap. There is one form of denialism I can agree with though… I’ll always be a God-denier.